SUARA HATI

Ketika mulut tergetar dan tak satupun kata yang terucap,

Ketika kelopak mata terkedip berat dengan sekantung air yang enggan menetes,

Menatapmu dengan penuh peluh, atau bahkan acuhkan dirimu,

Tahukah kamu apa dibalik itu??

Aku hanya ingin kau mengucap,, “maaf telah membuatmu kecewa..”

Ketika kau mengajakku tertawa,

Tapi ku malah acuh,

Ketika kau ingin ku lakukan sesuatu untukmu,

Dan aku dengan kasarku berkata “suruh aja yg lain aku sibuk”,

tahukah kamu  kau butuh  penyemangat,,

Dengan rendah hatimu, ku ingin kau katakana “kenapa? Apa ada yang membuatmu terluka?”  

BERSAMBUNG....

What is love? Why do we fall in love? When will we fall in love? Love, as we know, is difficult to define. Some people said that love is a great power which makes our life very colorful and important. When we are falling in love with a person and that person do the same feeling to us, we will feel that the world is very beautiful. There are only we and our love there and no one in this world can disturb and take this our beautiful world. However, sometimes love can hurt our heart. Have you ever hurt because of love? As a human being, I ever experienced a deep love feeling to someone and hurt so much when I could not show my feeling and saw the reality that I could not posses someone who I loved.

I ever falling in love with someone, but I was very difficult to show it. He was my friendship. Our first meeting was in a school organization. He was the figure of smart and handsome person and every woman liked him at that time. We were close enough. He very understood all about me.  As a friendship, he gave me more attention and so did I. He was care about everything I did. When I had a problem, he always helped me to solve it. He became my best problem solver, listener, advisor, and also my best spirit to face my life. For the first I never felt any special feeling to him, but because we often spent many time together I felt that there was something different hidden in my heart and I aware that it was my deep love feeling to him.

Since that love feeling came to me, everything was changed. Everytime I met him my heart trembled so fast. My eyes sometimes seemed to say something to him, but I dared no to do. Directly my body wanted to go away against my feeling. It caused of my soul that could not be controlled every time he was near to me. Actually I wanted always next to him, but I was afraid. I wonder if he would know that I had special feeling to him and I didn’t want that happen. I always though that I am a woman and that will be not good if I seemed to love a man and let it appear in front of him. I prefer if he declared his love to me first than I did.

He began look at me with very different way. Maybe he though that there was something strange in my self. He asked me what happened and why I didn’t act just as usually. I could only answer nothing. Actually I could feel that he also had special feeling to me, but I didn’t know why he never said it. It sometimes made me hesitate. I was worried that maybe I was too confident. He didn’t love me but he only did usual thing that usually done by a friendship.

One day he moved to another city to collage. I felt hurt so much because I didn’t want he leaved me. Before he went, he asked me whether I agreed or not if he went to another city. At that time I answered “yes, of course. It doesn’t matter”. From his eyes I could see that he didn’t expect that answer but he never told me.

When he was already far from me, I felt that this world was very dark and meaningless even though we always still had good communication. I felt that I did my life alone without he who I loved beside me. My days were full of sadness and loneliness. One night, one of my friends came to me and told me everything about him that actually he loved me, but he couldn’t tell me because he thought that I had already have a special person in my life and it was not him. Then my friend asked me did I love him too or not and at that time I only answer “not” because I was shy to tell my feeling to anyone.

Day after day, after I answered my friend’s question, I could see some differences on him. He never contacted me again, never appeared his self in front of me and never showed his attention to me. I felt that what I said to my friend hurt him so much, but it also happened to me. My heart like got stabbed and it was very sick. If I could I want to tell him that I loved him too, but I could not. My heart always forced me not be honest with my feeling.

One day he came to my house and brought a woman. He showed me his best smile when entered my house which seemed to contain a deep meaning, but I didn’t know what it was. Then he introduced the woman to me and said that she was his girl friend. I could not say anything. I just smile and said “How beautiful your girlfriend is”. Nothing I could do and nothing I could say again. Why that should happen to me, why he came to me and made me shatter? Is it my fault that I never to be honest to myself and him? Does it mean that he will never be mine if I only to be silent? Only those words were coming in my mind. Since that bad thing happened to me, I tried to restrain my self not to be easily loving someone because it can only made me hurt.

Disability to show a deep feeling and saw the reality that someone who I loved having special relationship with another people made me realized that love is not always bring happiness. Love sometimes can hurt our heart if we can’t posses someone that we admire.

How to fail a first datin

            Successful first dating is something expected by most of teenagers. They will do and prepare everything they need only for their successful dating. They don’t care about spending much money and time. In their mind only to create successful dating that can make them happy and can’t sleep a whole night. It is a very common thing and also only a very unuseful thing which only can make headache to think, so we don’t have to do the same thing. We have to be different, right? So that it is very important if you follow these crazy steps.

First, it is the most important thing that you have to do. Make your appearance as bad as possible when you meet him/her for dating. Forget about take a bath and brush your teeth, it is actually not important anymore, don’t use make up and perfume. Your clothe is also important, so you should use different colors for you jeans, shirt, shoes, bag and also your watch until you looked strange and no one will be confident walk with you and your dating partner will hesitant to confess you as him/her partner.

Second, you must decide the place where you want to go by your self without any discussion first. It is very good idea to go to an expensive restaurant. If your boyfriend or girl friend doesn’t agree, you can say that he or she doesn’t really want to have a dating with you and doesn’t really love you. Make her/him interest so much with you with your sweet words that he/she can’t refuse.

Next, after you have succeeded to decide the place to go that is in an expensive restaurant, ask her/him to go to the restaurant first and let her/him waiting for you at least around three hours. Don’t forget to make a call every five minutes to convince him/her that you really want to come but you are still on the way or you are in a traffic jam.

Then, after he/she has been waiting for you for long time and he/she looked so tired and angry, you come to him/her with full of hurry and sit near to him/her with your fast and big breathe and ask him/her to order you some drinks and foods because you are very thirsty and hungry. Eat your foods quickly with both of your hands. While you are eating, ask your boyfriend or girlfriend talking about something he/she doesn’t really like. Make sure that you get the best chance to speak and don’t let your boy friend or girlfriend stop your speech.

The last, maybe your partner will feel so boring and uncomfortable. He/she will try to look for a thousand reasons to leave the place after look at your way to dress, eat, talk and make up. He will feel fidgety with your oily face, unpleasant body smell and unpleasant teeth smell. What you must do for the next is you have to act as you don’t know anything and nothing wrong with you. When he/she begin to give you a critic, you must show that you’re angry in front of the public and don’t ever care about your partner feeling whether she will be shy or not. After that you can leave the place firstly and let your dating partner pay for you foods. I am sure it will be the worst first dating for you and your partner and he/him will never invite you datting again.

 Everyone in this world wants to make a perfect first dating. They need a romantic place, calm and quite situation and the most important is good impression from the outside and inside appearance, but those are too common and of course we need something different, right? So what must we do are follow my crazy tips. It will make you become the real crazy person.

Me,,,,